Possessions

Munchkins 2, 3, and 4 have a problem with possessions. They obsess about them. They hoard them. They fight about them. They steal them. They've never really had anything so now that they have clothing, a house with furniture, toys, beds, etc they have gone round the been about THINGS. They have decided that absolutely everything they see or touch is THEIRS whether it is or not. M3 steals things (both from stores and from other people in the house) and then hides them in her little stashes all over her room. None of them can stand for another person to even look at something they have claimed as theirs. They've even become possessive about the chairs at the kitchen table! If M1 (who is only 2 years old today!) climbs onto the chair they sat at during the most recent meal that child will go crazy shouting, "Get off my chair! Mom, M1 wants my chair! He can't have MY CHAIR! IT'S MY CHAIR! MINE!" I've even been told I could not sit on a chair! Today the big thing was library books. They checked out books from the library on their last visit and now that they are home if either M1 or Lion so much as walks toward one of those books the girls will flip out. Even after repeated explanations about how the books belong TO THE LIBRARY and we will ALL share the books at our house they can't handle it. If it continues to be as big a problem as it was today then they won't be allowed to check out any more books from the library. I can't handle the added drama. We have more children's books than our local public library anyway so it's not like they NEED to go to the library to get books!

It was M1s birthday today and M2, 3, and 4 had a BIG problem with that. They could not stand that today was not all about them. They even tried to claim his gifts even though they are baby toys! Thank heavens we had planned (before we knew about the girls) to keep M1s birthday low key because they absolutely COULD NOT have handled a party. At least now we know better than to plan a party for any of them. That would be meltdown city.

M1s case continues to go nowhere. We are getting more and more frustrated with his visitation workers and the agency that employs them by the hour. They are consistently late, do not call to let us know when there is a canceled visit, end visits early at their own discretion, and in general do not insure M1s well being as they are supposed to be doing. Technically they are supposed to be providing parenting training during the visits instead of just watching what happens, but they do not step in when unsafe/unhealthy food is given or no food at all is given. They allow inappropriate situations to occur frequently. It irritates the heck out of me! Still no word on when court will happen next. We are now past the 15 out of 22 month mark for M1 being in out of home care for M1's birthdad so technically termination could happen for both parents simply based on that regardless of what else the state has against them.

Today I had to send M3 to her room for awhile and she was not allowed to be playing with anything so I need to remove any possible play thing from the room. I knew the girls had been hoard things in the room, but I truly had no idea how bad it was. When I started cleaning out the room I found tags from their new clothes that I had thrown in the bathroom trash stashed between the mattress and box springs, dirty tissues inside pillow cases, toys belonging to the other kiddos hidden under the bed and under pillows, clothing stashed in the window sills, random stuff in empty doors and hidden in the corners of the closet. One thing I found were some clothes the girls had brought with them when they came that I had never seen before. The clothes smelled so badly that I almost vomited. I put them in the washing machine on the sanitize cycle and the smell still did not go away. If those clothes smelled that badly I can only imagine how bad their trailer must have smelled! I'm going to try to wash them one more time and if I still can't get rid of the smell I guess I'll just have to throw them away. It was interesting that the girls were hoarding those particular clothes though. I wonder if they remind them of their house and they wanted to keep them close? I can't keep something that smells that badly in my house though. It was unbelievably foul. I can't even begin to describe the stench.

New Munchkins!

We are deep into the throes of settling in our newest placements, Munchkin 2, Munchkin 3, and Munchkin 4. These sisters are super sweet, but boy oh boy do they have some serious issues stemming from their recent past. Munchkin 2 is 3, almost 4 years old. She has a shaved head because her mother decided to shave it to deal with the chronic lice that all three girls (as well as herself) have. M2 is pretty much scarred from having her head shaved and is terrified that everyone will think she is a boy. She is clingy, without any sense of personal boundaries (even for a 3 yr old), demanding, and extremely whiny. Still, one look at those beautiful brown eyes and your heart just melts. Munchkin 3 is 6 years old and in kindergarten. Of all three of the sisters, she is the most screwed up by all they've been through. Even though she's 6, she throws daily toddler temper tantrums (complete with throwing herself on the floor and kicking and screaming) anytime she doesn't get her way. She's got quite an attitude and is seriously behind in school. She's beautiful though and I think she's used to batting her pretty lashes and having people cave to her will. Munchkin 4 is the oldest at 7 years old (almost 8) and is in first grade. Though she is almost 2 years older than M3 they are the same height and M4 weighs significantly less. She's not even on the growth chart! She likes to speak with a baby voice to get attention and is the physical aggressor of the bunch. We've had lots of problems with pinching and hitting the other kids in the house covertly and then lying about it. I wonder if since she's so small she thinks she needs to make up for it by pushing others around?

Their situation that they came from just makes me sick to think about it. They lived in a trailer with no running water that was extremely unsanitary. The policeman who removed them had to leave the house multiple times while he was there to keep from vomiting from the smell. The girls had chronic lice that their mother refused to treat and went to school unbathed and in dirty clothes. All 3 were beat with a belt and made to drink hot sauce when they were in trouble. They were also food restricted and punished for taking food when it was withheld from them. With all of that, it's no wonder the girls have the issues they do and quite frankly it's amazing they came through as well as they have! If lying, stealing, mild physical and verbal aggression, tantrums, food hoarding/binging, and no limits and boundaries are all we have to contend with then I'd say the girls came out very lucky indeed.

Going from 2 kids to 5 has been a HUGE switch. Munchkins 2, 3, and 4 aren't easy kids to add to that mix either. Simply the logistics of getting 7 people out the door every morning has been a staggering adjustment for me! Then there's feeding seven people when truly I hadn't even adjusted to feeding 4 yet from when M1 joined our family. Everything we do is a production from getting into the car to brushing teeth. AND it's definitely going to take me awhile to get used to the stares when I go out with all 5 kiddos in tow. We definitely cause a scene since none of them really obey! We've even already been asked if we were a daycare when we were out at Pizza Hut once!