Affection

M1 doesn't seem to know how to express affection. From what I know of his case he didn't get any himself for the first part of his life, but he's been in foster care for over a year. Surely his former foster parents were affectionate with him, right? How could you not be affectionate with a cute little baby/toddler? Still, it seems as if he has no idea what to do when someone tries to show him affection and he certainly doesn't show affection back to others. He will hug or kiss when prompted, but he has no eye contact and is off to the next thing before even finishing the request. He won't cuddle period and you would think I was jabbing hot pokers into him whenever I try to get him to sit on my lap or hold him and get him to lay his head down on my shoulder. When you pick him up, he doesn't hold on or mold into you. It's just so sad. I want to snuggle and cuddle him, to rub his back or stroke his cheek but he hates it. Even if he gets hurt he doesn't want to be cuddled. The most he'll let me do is sorta kiss the place where the boo-boo is and then he's back off.

It was always easy for me to show affection to Lion. She was my little girl and we snuggled her from day one. Even as an infant she returned the affection by cooing and smiling at us. We were definitely rewarded for our efforts and we kept it up. With M1 it is so different. I find that I have to be very conscious about showing him affection and persisting in my expressions of affection even when he rebuffs me because it just doesn't come natural to me. When affection is not returned it's not so natural to continue giving it. I'm sure that's what got M1 into his current state of mind and I can see it happening to me with him if I don't make a conscious effort to keep up the flow of affection. I'm definitely going to have to Fake it until I can Make it with him. He deserves to be loved on even if he doesn't know how to give it back.