The Hotline

In the state we live in, every suspected case of child abuse must be reported through one central hotline phone number. Even if it is a person from the child protective services reporting the abuse, they have to use the same hotline phone number to report and record their complaint the same as a general citizens. Yesterday we had to make our first hotline call :( We aren't even a month into our foster care gig and we've already had to report possible abuse.

On Friday night M1 came home from his visits with his birthfamily and he reeked of smoke. We took him straight up to the tub and when we took his clothes off we found suspicious looking bruises on both of his upper arms in the same place on each arm and they looked like finger marks. They weren't there when he left on his visit, but they were painfully visible when he got back. He had visited both birthmom and birthdad on separate visits that day, both of which were supposedly supervised. I'm not sure how bruises like that could happen if supervision was occurring, but apparently they did. When the visitation worker dropped M1 back off she did not mention any incident that could have caused those bruises like a fall or other accident. I called her as soon as we got M1 in bed and she again didn't mention anything and then when I told her what I had found she stated, "Well, maybe dad played a little too rough." A little too rough? Um, I don't think so. Playing doesn't make bruises like that.

It just makes me sick that M1 could have gotten seriously hurt while on a supervised visit. Thankfully all he has is bruises, but still. Even though M1 is not my child I've felt funny from the very beginning turning him over for hours at a time to have his visits and then having him returned not knowing what went on during his day at all. This of course seals the deal. I'm never going to feel comfortable letting him go now. Unfortunately, I don't have a choice. I have to do as I'm told and if the state says he has to go on a visit then he has to go no matter what I want or think. I'm sure there will be an investigation of some kind about the bruises, but until then he may still have to go on visits. I'm so not comfortable with that and my heart breaks for M1. I want to be able to protect him, to keep him safe, but if he's not with me I can't do that.

M1 is supposed to have two more visits tomorrow. I'm dreading it, simply dreading it. There is also a team meeting later in the week and for the first time I'll meet his birthdad and the birthdad's family as well as some other key members of M1's case. I assume my hotline call is kept anonymous, but I'm sure it would not be difficult to figure out who reported the bruises. That's probably not the best first impression to make. Still, I had to do what was best for M1.